It Really Can Be Better
Savvy Strategies Relational Life Therapy:
Impactful, Efficient, Lasting Couples Work
I help stuck couples learn to reconnect and build the emotionally intimate relationships that they deserve.
The relationship you wish for is possible, but sometimes skills and tools aren’t enough to get you there. Most of us have times in our lives when we need help to rebuild the passion and connection in our relationships. If this is where you are I can help.
I help stuck couples learn to reconnect and
build the emotionally intimate relationships that they deserve.
My clients come to me because they are struggling in their relationships like you are. Despite being committed to one another, willing to work on their relationships, and highly successful in the rest of their lives, their relationships feel lonely and painful. They often feel hopeless, desperate, or just plain stuck. Since they’ve tried couples therapy in the past and felt like it either didn’t help, didn’t stick, or even made things worse, they fear that there may be no path forward for their relationship.
When they first come in, they have spent years in conflict about surface issues, stuck in a pattern that entrenches the disconnection between them, riding the wave of their emotions and reactions, at the mercy of the rawest and most sensitive parts of themselves and each other. Over time, these reactions have made too many topics and issues feel impossibly loaded, leaving them in a state where they either avoid these issues entirely or blow up about them.
Whether they are grappling with infidelity, experiencing sexual/intimate disconnection and dissatisfaction, unable find a way to build communication and connection, feeling anger and resentment, in conflict about parenting issues, caught in an intense period of high conflict, or on the brink of ending the commitment, their relationship has become a source of disconnection, turmoil, and pain instead of authenticity, intimacy, understanding, and growth. They feel lonely, resentful, hurt, and misunderstood
The unrepaired damage from years of hurt, anger, resentment, and unexpressed wants and needs gets in the way of the relationship that they want and deserve. They worry about the impact of their relationship on their kids. They feel like they’re failing. And they doubt they will ever be able to experience the intimacy and understanding that will allow them to openly share their true selves with their partner.
Before they came to see me, they started to doubt that their relationship could ever get better. They worried that talking about the problems between them and facing the reality of how difficult their relationship had become would be too painful to handle. And they feared that opening up and acknowledging their true feelings would bring their relationship to the breaking point.
Like my clients, you deserve to be in an intimate, connected, and essentially cherishing relationship. If you want to heal the damage that gets in the way of intimate connection I’d love to help you get there.
The relationship you wish for is possible. Most of us have times in our lives when we need help to rebuild the passion and connection in our relationships. If this is where you are - reach out. I can help.
Nikki Loscalzo, Ed. M.
RLT Certified Therapeutic Coach
Empowering couples to get past surface issues and heal the damage that gets in the way of intimate connection.
I first discovered the tremendous power of Relational Life Therapy when Terry Real transformed my own marriage. Inspired by my personal experience with RLT, I trained directly with Terry Real through his Relational Life Institute to learn how to empower couples to transform their relationships. Through his intensive certification program, I learned how to work with couples to quickly diagnose the problems in the relationship, uncover why these issues exist, and repair damage to change the dynamic and rebuild a truly intimate relationship.
As is typical in Relational Life Therapy, I won’t be the kind of couples counselor who sits back and mostly listens and validates. Instead, my style is active and directive. I’ll ask lots of questions to home in on what is going on in your relationship that pulls you away from each other and gets in the way of reconnection and repair. As I learn about you, I’ll offer plenty of strategies, insights, tools, and resources to help you to shift your behavior and build new skills to make your interactions with one another less difficult and more intimate. Also, while I will invite you to explore readings and ideas to help you educate yourself and improve your relational skills and knowledge, I won’t offer traditional relationship “homework” assignments or suggested conversations. In RLT, we believe that your relationship is the laboratory for change, and the best way to improve your relationship is to deliberately use your new skills in your natural day to day interactions with one another and see how it works.
You don’t need to suffer in a relationship where you feel lonely, resentful, hurt, and misunderstood.
You deserve to be in an intimate, connected, and essentially cherishing relationship.
I’ve lived it. I’ve seen it. You can too.
Reach out. I can help.
Relational Life Therapy
Impactful, Efficient, Lasting Work to Transform Your Relationship and Your Life
A different approach. Traditional couples therapy doesn’t work for everyone. For many people, couples therapy simply doesn’t help. In fact, for too many couples, it can actually make things worse.
Whether you're dealing with communication issues, healing from infidelity, managing a high-conflict relationship, experiencing anger and resentment, suffering from a lack of emotional or sexual connection, or feeling like this may be the end for your relationship, Relational Life Therapy can help you to heal and move forward.
Reach out. I can help
“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be."