Relational Life Therapy Resources
Learn more about Relational Life Therapy and the work of Terry Real
If you're interested in learning more about Terry Real's bestselling relationship books or checking out his online Essential Relationship Skills course, check out the descriptions below. Or, for a quick primer on Terry Real and RLT, listen to this one-hour Sounds True podcast interview with Terry: Standing Up to One Another with Love.
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To download free PDFs of my infographics on The Seven Primary Feelings and Terry Real's Five Losing & Five Winning Strategies for Getting What You Want in Your Relationship, check out my Free Tools page.
A revolutionary and hopeful look at depression as a silent epidemic in men that manifests as workaholism, alcoholism, rage, difficulty with intimacy, and abusive behavior by the cofounder of Harvard’s Gender Research Project.
Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.
This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.
An online course
with Terry Real
This workshop will give you the skill set that will enable you to imbue your relationship with fierce intimacy. You’ll learn how to tell the truth to your partner with love, unafraid of the challenge. You’ll learn how to cherish your partner while standing up firmly for your own needs. And you will learn how to keep passion alive through radical honesty and deep emotional engagement.
What happened to the passion we started with?
Why aren't we as close as we used to be?"
PROBLEM: If you are a woman who is unfulfilled in your marriage...if you feel unheard or overburdened...if you quietly live in a state of slow-burn resentment...
PROBLEM: If you are a man unhappy that your partner seems so unhappy with you...if you feel bewildered, unappreciated, or betrayed...
This book offers a solution
Bestselling author and nationally renowned therapist Terrence Real unearths the causes of communication blocks between men and women in this groundbreaking work. Relationships are in trouble; the demand for intimacy today must be met with new skills, and Real -- drawing on his pioneering work on male depression -- gives both men and women those skills, empowering women and connecting men, radically reversing the attitudes and emotional stumbling blocks of the patriarchal culture in which we were raised. Filled with powerful stories of the couples Real treats, no other relationship book is as straight talking or compelling in its innovative approach to healing wounds and reconnecting partners with a new strength and understanding.
How to Communicate with Love and Respect - Even When You Argue
Terry's approach to relationship is called "full-respect living" - to skillfully and honestly assert your needs while also honoring your partner's needs. In these six sessions, he presents invaluable training for individuals and couples on developing the skills necessary for this authentic way of connecting. You'll begin by learning how to clear away the outdated beliefs and habits that keep you from developing healthy self-esteem. Then Terry will help you and your partner transform the Five Losing Strategies that sabotage relationships into the Five Winning Strategies that lead to clear communication, trust, and mutual support.
"When we dare to be more vulnerable and open and honest, we are forging new territory", says Terry Real. Whether you're still seeking a partner or want to breathe new life into your existing relationship, Fierce Intimacy brings you essential tools for connecting with true respect, uncompromising honesty, and ever-deepening love.
In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy–you’re right!
Women have changed in the last twenty-five years–they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.
Enter the good news: In this revolutionary book, Real shows women how to master the new rules of twenty-first-century marriage by offering them a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He identifies five non-starters to avoid and shares practical strategies for bringing honesty, passion, and joy back to even the most difficult relationship. Using his experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to profound emotional closeness, Real guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner. With this program you’ll discover how to
- identify and articulate your wants and needs
- listen well and respond generously
- set limits, and stand up for yourself
- embrace and appreciate what you have
- know when to seek outside help
The New Rules of Marriage will introduce you to a radically new kind of relationship, one based on the idea that every woman has the power to transform her marriage, while men, given the right support, have it in them to rise to the occasion.
We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.
You Deserve a Cherishing Relationship
The relationship you wish for is possible, but sometimes skills and tools aren’t enough to get you there. Most of us have times in our lives when we need help to rebuild the passion and connection in our relationships.
If this is where you are - reach out. I can help.
Contact me today for a twenty-minute free phone consultation or to set up an initial ninety-minute session.
“We know what we are, but not what we may be.”