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  • Writer's pictureNikki Loscalzo Ed. M.

How You Can Make Valentine's Day More Than a Hallmark Holiday

Updated: Sep 11, 2020

For a relationship to not just survive, but to remain passionate and intimate over the long term one of the most important things a couple needs to do is to cherish one another.

Ideally, this would be part of a daily practice for everyone in a relationship. But for most of us, the busyness of life and being side by side with our partners through the daily drudgery and far-from-romantic grind of household chores, childcare, and work stress puts cherishing our partners on the bottom of our seemingly endless "to-do" list, if we think to do it at all. But there is no single more effective way to breathe connection and passion into our relationships than to cherish our partners.

Ten Easy Ways to Cherish Your Partner

This is where Valentine's Day can serve as a fantastic opportunity to not just cherish our partners for the day but to kick-off a renewed relational practice of regularly letting our partners know just how much we love and appreciate them. This doesn't have to be time-consuming, or expensive, it's just about letting your partner know that you are thinking of them and appreciating them. Here are ten free and easy suggestions that you can do any day of the year: ❤️ Leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror with an appointment for a five-minute "make-out date" later that day. ❤️ Notice your partner looking really hot and sexy to you (the best opportunity for this is usually seeing them "in their element" professionally or somewhere else that they excel) and letting them know how attractive you found them at that moment. ❤️ Send them a song that makes you think of them. ❤️ Do a chore that they hate and let them know you're doing it because you know how much they don't like doing it and that you wanted to make their day easier. ❤️ Send them a text telling them a specific thing about them that you adore (their eyes, their laugh, what an amazing friend they are) be specific and descriptive about why you adore this thing about them so much. ❤️ Send them a text telling them to listen in private to the sexy voicemail you're sending them - then leave a voicemail where you recount one of your favorite sexual memories of the two of you together. ❤️ Write a love note about something you're looking forward to in your future together. ❤️ Send an email with five things you appreciate about them, as romantic or as raunchy, or whatever combination of the two, you think your partner will most appreciate. ❤️ Get their car washed, or complete some other mundane task for them that creates shine in their life. ❤️ Tell them that you love them. Not just as a throw-away off to your day "Love you" but a truly deep "I love you, and this is what having you as my partner as we make our way through this crazy world means to me."

Use these ideas as inspiration and make a habit of cherishing your partner as a daily relational practice. And for a more detailed discussion check out The Pleasure Mechanics' podcast episode How to Be More Romantic There is no better investment that you can make in your relationship.

For more ideas on how to improve your relationship read about Terry Real's Losing Strategies for getting what you want in your relationship as well the Five Winning Strategies that you can use instead.

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The relationship you wish for is possible, but sometimes skills and tools aren’t enough to get you there. Most of us have times in our lives when we need help to rebuild the passion and connection in our relationships. If this is where you are - reach out. I can help.



Nikki Loscalzo, Ed. M. is an RLT Certified Therapeutic Coach who helps couples and individuals learn to get past surface issues and heal the damage that gets in the way of intimate connection. Nikki first discovered the tremendous power of Relational Life Therapy when the RLT creator, Terry Real, transformed her own marriage.

Inspired by her personal experience with RLT, Nikki trained directly with Terry Real through his Relational Life Institute to learn how to empower couples to transform their relationships. Through his intensive certification program, she learned the skills that she employs every day in private practice at Savvy Strategies Relational Life Therapy, where she works with couples to quickly diagnose the problems in their relationships, uncover why these issues exist, and repair damage to shift unhelpful relationship dynamics and rebuild a truly intimate relationship.

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